Not a Denzel Washington Blog

If I was to ever commit a crime (again) depending on its magnitude I think I could get away with it. I figure most people could. With all the TV shows and movies coming out these days where the bad guy actually wins, it’s giving plenty of ideas to the dumb ass criminals of the world.

 

Watching the “Inside Man” the other day I came out of watching that movie thinking I could easily rob a bank, but then I thought “I’m not Clive Owen” and there are actually thousands of cops out there with the skills that Denzel Washington had in that movie. Too bad there aren’t as many actors that have Denzel’s skills….

I’m looking at you Tyler Perry….

 

 

 
get your shit together.

But this isn’t a discussion about Denzel; well actually this isn’t a discussion at all.

I think of it more as me just shouting at a wall and if there happens to be someone listening on the other side of that wall than, what’s wrong with that person?

Ok again, this isn’t a blog about Denzel, although….

 

NO! Get a grip, Chase. Ok, so…..ah where was I? YES, TVs shows with smart criminals…I feel like TV shows that show how crimes go down, might spark a bunch of moron copycats. After all, most of those shows go into great detail and even go as far as interviewing the criminal and ask him how he did and even WHERE WE WENT WRONG!

I know that there are convicts in a prison somewhere watching these shows with a pad of paper and pen thinking “OHHH, leaving DNA everywhere can be a bad thing! I better keep it in my pants next time.”

This thought startled me, thinking that criminals will start outsmarting the coppers but then I got a grip and realized that those criminals are going to need something first before they attempt an elaborate heist.

What you say?

A Gun, perhaps…

 

 

Nope.

A getaway car, possibly?

 

 

 
Nope.

Intelligence, my friend, intelligence. Being able to construct a decent plan begins with being able to speak correctly…or “talk smart-like” for all you convicts out there.

These shows aren’t THAT bad than, I enjoy watching CSI sometimes. Mostly just during the day, I find that there’s a glare on my TV during the day and when I watch shows like CSI and Law and Order the glare makes it look like I’m in the TV show.

So during the interrogation scenes I can pretend to be the good cop while Ice-T gives the “perp” the stink eye….

and yes, I have a lot of time on my hands.

Even though I assume that there are a bunch of stupid criminals out there, which there are……

except for Denzel…

 

 

 
FOCUS!

There are actually quite a bit of dumb cops.

“Blasphemy!” you say, I’m here to tell you, friend, that there very well may be!

By the way, I’d like to point out (for those of you still reading) that half the time I have no idea what my blog is going to be about until I’m about 3 quarters of the way through it, but I think that is accurately reflected in my writing. This particular blog was originally going to be about people trying to copycat other criminals and failing horribly but now it’s going to finish with a story about slacker cops.

 

 

So these cops got a case about a year back where a woman was killed, not going to say how cause…quite frankly, it was gross. The cops had everything they needed, or at least all the coppers on TV need; DNA, shoe prints and even finger prints! So what’s the issue? Well they probably don’t possess the same technology than the TV shows do, cause that shit doesn’t exist.

The cops then sat on this info, waiting for a tip to come in….waiting….waiting…ok now a year later and they think “ok maybe we should ask the public what they know.” Soooo NOW, they have released info about the murder and what happens?

Think about it.

What would be the ONE thing that could happen that would make the coppers look like dumbasses?

Well the murderer? He turned himself in.

Yep, the guy would have probably brought himself in sooner if the cops would have just trusted the public a little bit. I mean, why do you even bother asking for tips from the public if you don’t release any info.

That’s kind of like going over the air waves and saying “There’s a lost person out there and we need help to find him, except I won’t tell you what the boy, OR GIRL, looks like or where it exactly happened.”

So let that be a lesson all you cops that read this blog, don’t bother reading blogs that are written by a half-baked copy writer living in a town that has fewer people living in it than the amount of people inside the Eaton Centre at any given moment.

And now a salute to my favorite police officer…