Apples and Oranges

I remember when the first iPod came out, they used to be those big ass ones that were roughly the size of a box of Kraft Dinner and usually weighed the size of bag of apples (see what I did there?). The only people I saw owning an iPod were a “select” group of people, and by “select”, I mean the kids with the rich-ass parents.

I never understood why the iPod’s were so much better than my dinky little Samsung mp3 player was, but then I saw 50 Cent in a music video and understood what the appeal was…it was gangsta.

Just like baggy clothes, dew rags, watermelons and the word “fah-sizzle”, this product must have become popular because the African-American community embraced it.

No, I don’t actually think that….the iPod part…the watermelon part is completely true.

I still don’t understand why they became so popular. I know why they ARE popular now, but what made them the monopoly they are today? For a while, they were just there and then, it seemed over-night that they took off like a dude that just snatched your purse. All of a sudden, they were fuckin everywhere and just like any other person on this god-forsaken continent, I felt the need to own the hell out of one.

I first got an iPod that was one of those 8 GB Nano’s. I thought, “This is the best thing ever! They will never be able to top this incredible piece of technology!”

Boy, was I wrong.

Apple has to be one of the most intelligent companies around. They convince the stubborn people of this world that they DO need to spend more and more money on the same product ever 365 days, sometimes even sooner.

I know a guy that I would consider the cheapest guy I know, that will remain nameless. Paul was so cheap that I’m pretty sure unplugs the clocks when he goes to bed. He is an Apple nut, he buys all the shit they put out. He was the only guy that I knew that owned one of those lame ass Mac Air books, or whatever the hell they were called, and also the only guy that defended it’s pointlessness. This proved to me that the world has become apple-dependent.

They say “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” But what they actually mean is “An Apple product ever 365th day, keep the hipsters at bay”

Now honestly, it wasn’t that surprising that Steve Jobs passed away, I mean it sucks, but really who didn’t see that coming? Even if you haven’t seen a recent picture of him you must have known that a little while ago he stepped down as Apple CEO. Right there you should have realized “Well, he’s on his way out.”

No body gives up a multi-billion dollar enterprise like that.

I mean I would, if I got all the money. I could do what everyone always wishes they could do….what ever person out there works day-in and day-out so they can one day do.

Absolutely nothing.

I wouldn’t just do nothing, I would do so little that I actually start to deteriorate into a puddle of plasma TV’s and gold bricks.

If I had Steve Jobs’ money, like say some guy calls me and tells me I’m Steve Jobs long-lost son and I have inherited his fortune. Sure my whole life would have been a lie but I would be loaded so who gives a shit.

First, I would buy an elephant and name it Dumbo. Second, develop a trampoline that can withstand 100 people jumping on it. Next, I would pay a 100 people to jump on a giant trampoline with Dumbo.

Chaos….so much fun to watch…


Seriously though I have no idea what I would do if I had that kind of money. Probably go crazy. I mean literally insane, I would go on a money spending tangent which would eventually lead me in a wild car chase, that I would’ve started just to see if the cops could catch me in my pimped out ice cream truck.

Only a man of great integrity and will power could have that kind of money and not have gone crazy. That alone tells me that Steve Jobs was an O.K guy.

Hey Steve Jobs…

You’re ok.


About cameronchase420

Hey I'm Cameron and I hate Ketchup, obviously. I also like to talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, and rap. I'm from Calgary but lived in Ontario for the most of my life. I now live in a little town called Wingham, oh you haven't heard of Wingham? Strange. Aaaaanyways, enough about me. Go read my shit. View all posts by cameronchase420

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