Leave sooner, drive slower, live longer…

This world runs on fuel, because frankly, the majority of this world is lazy as hell and need cars to drive them 5 minutes away…myself included. Cars make it possible to get from point A to Point B, and if you had a car in High School, they make it possible to make it from Second to Third Base…jus sayin’.

I recently decided to take my shitty little Neon of the road for the winter, mostly because I would be saving 3oo bucks a month, but also because I hate winter driving.

The top three things I hate the most:

1. Ketchup

2. Winter Driving

3.

I hate winter driving because of the whole warming up the car in the morning, scraping ice off the windshield and not to mention driving with 25% visibility (which is the equivalent to having a fat person sitting in your lap while you’re trying to drive). Oh…and I also don’t like winter driving because of the possibility of skidding out of control and crashing into a ditch, only to get rear-ended by an 18 wheeler…but mostly because of the scraping the windshield part.

Another thing I hate about winter driving, that actually applies to driving year-round, is other drivers. Not just any driver, no I’m talking about the dumbasses that think that they can take 30 minutes to parallel park.

It’s the people who pull up fast as shit to a stop sign then just stop there and wait for you to go (even though they were obviously there first) and then after the initial confusion of why this person has a license…you decide to go for it. Only to see that they had a similar thought and decided to go for it. Then you are stuck in this fuckin intersection, with fuckin idiot and you are just TRYING TO GET HOME FOR LUNCH!

 

yes that happened to me today…

Situations like this happen to me all the time, which lead me to ask myself…is it my fault?

No, nothing is…

So whose fault is it?

I had to get to the bottom of this, I started keeping track of all the stupid drivers I’ve spotted, just to see if there are any reoccurring variables.

After literally HOURS of research and based on really no theory at all I’ve discovered the perfect mathematical equation to what makes a “Bad driver”.

x = gender + (age – race) 2

Not bad, right?

But seriously, why are there still all these bad drivers?

I have always wondered this and only up until a couple of weeks ago, I really had no idea, then it hit me! Well, she almost hit me. It was a woman who pulled off one of the stupidest exit to a parking lot that I’ve since in a while. She just wildly rushed out of the parking lot, forcing me and another car to slam on the brakes.

The car that pulled out was one of those Drivers Ed. cars, so there was a moment where I understood the radical driving, but then when I looked closer I realized there was only one person in the car and she was driving. The girl who drove out of the parking lot not only was a grown woman, but a driver instructor none-the-less!

I didn’t think of this right away, I didn’t think of it when I got out of my car, I didn’t think of it when I was laying in bed BUT THEN…during my MP (Morning Poo) the next day a light bulb went off! I changed the light bulb in my bathroom and then I realized; maybe that’s why there are bad drivers…because there are bad driving instructors!

We need to make the regulations on becoming a driving instructor a little stricter.

 


Now if you belong to the group that says, “it’s because it was a women behind the wheel, that’s why you almost got hit”; how do you figure? I think women drivers are totally safe! Where do you get off saying: “Women drivers should be put through a separate driving program to learn to be a little bit less defensive on the road and a little more re-active? They should learn not to apply make-up and text while behind the wheel. Women should take another drivers test right around age 40, to refresh themselves on how to drive just incase their one of the women that have driven for little over ten years and think they own the road!”

I mean; I just don’t understand where the people who say that kind of stuff get there facts?
Andddd now a totally random selection of funny pictures…Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About cameronchase420

Hey I'm Cameron and I hate Ketchup, obviously. I also like to talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, and rap. I'm from Calgary but lived in Ontario for the most of my life. I now live in a little town called Wingham, oh you haven't heard of Wingham? Strange. Aaaaanyways, enough about me. Go read my shit. View all posts by cameronchase420

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