A New Year. A whole new series of blogs full of spelling mistakes, bad grammar and a bunch of shenaniganiness…
It’s been a while since I’ve made a post and there were literally PAIRS of people asking why I haven’t been writing any posts. Well for one, I actually forgot about this website.
It was only when I Goggled “websites that hate ketchup more than stubbing your toe” that I came across this website again. After reading through all the different posts for about an hour I realized that this was IN-FACT my website.
It was like Christmas morning all over again.
Which is the perfect Segway in to the second reason why I wasn’t posting.
December, that’s why.
I get why Christmas is awesome; you see old friends and family member that you only see during the holidays. There’s tons of food that’s always better than the food you eat the other 363 days of the year (not including Bacon Day, September 3rd) and of course the presents. Presents that evolved from Lego and Buzz Lightyear action figures, which was fucking awesome, to socks and dress shirts, which now that you’re old enough to appreciate them…is equally as fucking awesome.
Except for that one year I got a calculator for Christmas…fail ONE math test and all of a sudden your Gilbert Grape.
I’ve mentioned it before but I doubt anyone read far enough into that blog to remember, matter of fact I’m am confident in saying that no one has even made it this far in this blog. I’m all alone, I can say what I want.
I DIDN’T START FLOSSING TIL I WAS 20!
Like I was saying before I got out of hand. I’ve mentioned before that I work the weekend and holiday shifts at my radio station to pull in some extra money. Holiday shifts obviously include Christmas eve and all of Boxing week but luckily I got Christmas Day off.
That allowed me to drive down to Chatham around noon on Christmas Eve and I drove back on Christmas Night to be back in time for my Boxing Day shift the next day at 9am. So basically I drove just over 6 hours so I could be at home for just over 24 hours. Which was nice.
Warning; the following is a tender moment. I didn’t tell my mom I was able to make it down, so as far as she was concerned I was missing this year’s Christmas. LITTLE DID SHE KNOW HER SON IS A LYING BASTARD. I showed up on Christmas eve and surprised her while she was sitting with my dog on the living room couch.
That showed her who her favorite son SHOULD BE….actually I kind of screwed myself over cause I had nowhere to sleep.
Should have thought ahead…
I drove back Christmas night, only because I hated the idea of sleeping on the love seat for another night and having to wake up at 6am to drive for 3 hours in the snow.
By the way, does anyone else feel like they are in Stars Wars going through hyperspace anytime you’re driving through a snowfall? Know what I mean? No? Ok, I’ll just continue…I also hadn’t drank any booze all Christmas day, not because I’m straight edge but rather because I was driving my grandmother around….and she hogs all the booze.
Driving back that night and realizing how ridiculously sober I was; I wanted to hit a ride program. Pretty much just so I can boast about sobriety, but just my luck…drive for 3 hours and not one copper in sight. Typical! The ONE time I wasn’t booze cruising down highway 2 and I don’t get pulled over.
I KID, I KID!
Anyways, I’m tired of typing. So I’ll post more later this week, or month….or year….