If there’s one thing I’m good at it’s being awkward, just ask my Mom.
I was so awkward as a child that I didn’t bring swim trucks to pool parties out of fear that they would think I was being to presumptuous in thinking they would let me in the pool…
yeah, THAT awkward.
But, for the most part, there’s certain situations in most people lives where being awkward is unavoidable.
It’s like when you go to a restaurant, server comes over and takes your order and leaves.
She (I’m assuming all servers are women) comes back with your food and places it down in front of you. Now, when she leaves she says the same thing all servers say “Enjoy your food!” and without thinking you respond with “You too.”
Son of a bitch…
(You just made yourself look like a retard in front of your date, no way you’re getting poon-tang now.)
There are so many instances like this that happen quite frequently.
Like when you’re walking down the street, you’re in a hurry cause you’re late or some shit like that. There’s just one person in front of you, they’re not walking slow but just not the pace you’re hoping to keep consistent because, again, you’re in a hurry. So you have to pass them..
INCREASE WALKING SPEED! FULL POWER!
But there isn’t a time or place more awkward than the 3 seconds you’re walking directly beside them.
Yes…awkwardness follows you everywhere. There’s no real chance of avoiding it.
Eventually it gets you.
One of the more awkward of situations that I’ve been in, happened recently. Now I think I’m pretty friendly. I can usually meet a new person and nail the first impression with them…
not this time.
I was out with a buddy and we ran into one of HIS good friends, I had never met this person before but she decided to join us for the rest of our coffee. She sat with us for probably around an hour, so I got to know her a little bit.
After our coffee we all got up to leave and upon saying goodbye she gave my buddy a good-bye hug. Now maybe it was the caffeine, maybe it was the drinking from night before or maybe it was being dropped on my head as a child but for some reason I thought it was appropriate to hug her as well.
Nah, she was having none of it…
Now I gathered it was going to be awkward about half way into the lean so at the last moment I tried to save my dignity by changing up my position to do a kind of “side hug”.
What did I actually end up doing?
I poked her in the eye….BOOM…awkward.