If both Canada and the US were cars; the US would be a gas guzzling Hummer and Canada would be a canoe.

There’s no doubt that there’s always been somewhat of a competition between Canada and America.

“You may have more bombs, but we have free Health Care!”

“Oh yeah! Well you may have free Health Care, but we have photo shopped super models!”

“Well at least Canada didn’t produce a little bitch like that Snooki chick!

“Oh Really….”

Well played America.

Today is Canada day, so far it sucks because I have to come into work and write-up some obits…it’s a hell of a good way to spend the holiday. It’s not too bad if I hold a sparkler in my hand while on the phone with the funeral homes.



What’s the difference?

Well America has their Independence Day on Monday so although it’s only 3 days apart, technically we’re first. America’s older though, about 91 years older.

While America has over 5000 airports, Canada’s has just around 500….not sure why that’s relevant…I just thought it was cool.

Also, as a country, America is much fatter than Canada (shocker). While only about a quarter of the Canadian population is considered obese over a third of Americans are fatty’s.  Not hard to believe since America has over 13,000 McDonald’s restaurants and feed over 46 million Fatty McFaterson’s a day.

Ok what else?

Canada has poutine’s and better beer…

USA has Popeye’s chicken.

Canadians are typically better at playing hockey…

Americans are usually better at auto tune…

In the end though; can’t we all just get along?

How’s aboot this…if you forgive us for Bryan Adams we’ll forgive you for Twilight.


Happy Canada Day Bitches!


About cameronchase420

Hey I'm Cameron and I hate Ketchup, obviously. I also like to talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, and rap. I'm from Calgary but lived in Ontario for the most of my life. I now live in a little town called Wingham, oh you haven't heard of Wingham? Strange. Aaaaanyways, enough about me. Go read my shit. View all posts by cameronchase420

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