Mail Wars 2: Harper Strikes Mail-Strike right back

In your face Canada Post! You think you can strike on us? Fuck you! We’re locking you out!

 


Wait…

Does that mean we’re not going to get ANY mail?

Shit!

Ok, before I thought this strike wasn’t going to be a HUGE deal…now I’m starting to reconsider.

While before it was just a rotating strike, only affecting certain cities and certain times, it’s now turned into a full-on stoppage in mail. Now from my perspective it doesn’t really matter. I deal with all my bills online so I can take care of that there. I don’t really get mail from friends and family members, most of them have learned how to work a computer/cell phone by now. Junk mail? Well that’s the only thing I’m going to get hurt on…I friggin love being pre-approved for stuff!

The guys in charge over there at Canada Post took action last Tuesday in issuing  a lock-out at all Canada Post offices. Stephen Harper and the rest of his minions are also working out a “Get-the-fuck-back-to-work” plan to try to get our mail back in our mailboxes.

This coming just in time, since the US Post has recently stated they will no longer be sending mail or parcels to Canadian addresses.

So don’t worry, hopefully this all be over before you miss your monthly subscription to “Thursday” magazine…

 

Now I never really mentioned why the union ended up striking and luckily I watch the Rick Mercer report so I got this covered.

Ok well I don’t really watch Rick Mercer but I read his blog…

Ok well I don’t really READ his blogs but I glance…

OK SHIT! I don’t glance, but I definitely know who he is…maybe….I wanna say he has something to do with hair products?

ANNNNYWAYS…

Basically the Post Office workers are upset about of couple things; one of which being the “Modernization” of dozen or so letter sorting facilities. “Modernization” called for the upgrade of a lot of the equipment, which sounds great! But for feeble old workers on the line, that means an increase in work productivity, since the machine will be spitting out more letters than the previous method.

So basically it’s the Canadian Post trying to say “Move it or lose it, grandpa!”

The union of the Canada Post is also pushing for an increase in wages…
Now I’m just a simple writer for a radio station, I don’t make much, $$$-wise. It’s not the most labor-intensive job but when I heard that mailmen’s (and mailwomen’s…gotta be equal) starting wage is 23 bucks…I thought “GAWD DAMN LOCH NESS MONSTA I AINT GIVING YOU NO TREEEE-FITTY RAISE”.

 

 

23 bucks an hour is pretty good but the union is pushing to get a 3.3 percent raise over the next 4 years.
But what they aren’t probably aware of is that there’s a REEEEECESSSION. A lot of people out there are over-worked, under-paid. So suck it up.

I also found out that since 2006 the amount of letter mail has declined 17 percent!

So just be lucky you have a job, Ethel!

 

So at this point we have Stephen Harper, the Canadian post in one corner and we have the union in the other.

Who will win?

I think it’s obvious…

 

Me! (pic related).

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About cameronchase420

Hey I'm Cameron and I hate Ketchup, obviously. I also like to talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, and rap. I'm from Calgary but lived in Ontario for the most of my life. I now live in a little town called Wingham, oh you haven't heard of Wingham? Strange. Aaaaanyways, enough about me. Go read my shit. View all posts by cameronchase420

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